You don't miss the water til the well runs dry

I was watching The Book of Eli a few hours back, and something struck a chord with me. Regarding the old days ( its set in the future so old days means now ),
Eli said,

"People threw away things we would fight for now. They didn't know what was really precious."

-well it went something like that-

I was just thinking. How true. People just don't know how to appreciate things when they have it. A few songs come to mind.

Counting Crows - They Paved Paradise
Craig David - You Don't Miss Your Water (Til The Well Runs Dry)

Just something to we should all think about.

For God's glory

The Lord has been good to me.

3 a 1 a-

That's pretty good right??

lol, my only regret is that the a- was bio. Of all things why bio!!!! I was just telling my mom, if it were anything it would be my chemistry or PA. i was pretty confident of maths and bio.
For the record, bio paper was pretty easy and straight forward. Couldn't believe my eyes when my paper 2 bio was a b+. Oh well, easy papers are never good news. But God is great. God probably didn't want me to get cocky or let pride slip in. My results are fine with me =)

Some of my friends did well. Others didn't. Some though i thought they had reasonably good results were obviously disappointed. But I really do hope they will always take their results in proper perspective. For me form 6 was a time of learning - finding who i am and really building relationships with friends. So no matter how good or bad a result i got, i will always remember form 6 for the times we had. Iskandar was a fantastic class =) and i really thank each and everyone of them for accepting me and well... bullying me =P . Doesn't mean they should though.
It probably got me more comfortable with myself and just let loose a little bit =) Well it wasn't just friendships in class but i really enjoyed all my experiences there. I am visibly more mature than when i was in form 5. Well, i like to think so =P

It feels like I'm closing another chapter in my life, but i know another is just beginning.
Well just a quote i remember from somewhere i don't remember =) I hope it will encourage you guys as it did me.

"In the end, everything will be alright. If it isn't, then it isn't the end."

A prayer to God

STPM results out this Thursday. Should i be excited? scared? I dunno.

Well, i have my hopes. I won't lie. I always try my best and aim for the best. But the danger in that is i might get disappointed. But that doesn't mean i shouldn't hope right?

Oh well, Father i pray for peace - that no matter what i will be able to accept my results. Father, whatever happens, let it be for your glory. Lord, keep me safe from pride and keep me humble. I want to thank You for everything. Lord, about the applications, show me what you have planned for me. Grant me wisdom to choose. In whatever way you lead me, Father i thank you that you will be with me.

Amen. =)

I feel better now

The Dreaded Question

Every time i meet someone, i dread the question.

"Hey, so you finished your stpm right?? What you doing now??"

"Not working??? Oh i see."

" So what course you intend to apply for?? What??!! Still not sure????", *glares disapprovingly*

Oh well. That's how most conversations generally go. I would say its kinda impossible to avoid it. How i wish they would just give me a break. Is it so hard to accept that some people just aren't sure what they want to do for a living yet? I don't want to regret this decision i'm making so why not take a little more time?? Nothing wrong with that right? I guess i just have to pray a little harder for directions. =)

Well just wanted to share some lyrics of a song. well just the 1st verse and the pre-chorus. Very meaningful.

Casting Crowns
Who Am I lyrics

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.
-------------------------

Thank you. =)

Where we are now

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."

-Helen Keller-

When i was in primary school, things seemed great. Malaysia was united. Well that's what the textbooks said. And i believed it wholeheartedly. Really. But as my understanding progressed, Malaysian life didn't seem to fit the description. Sure we are better off than some but we sure leave a lot to be desired. Things just were not where it should be. Nope the textbooks were definitely wrong about this one. So much for OneMalaysia.

Malaysia is my home. It's our home. And it really pains me when we fight over such petty issues. Use of a word??? What??!! Come on... Do we really have to make it such a big fuss??

I believe a lot of this stems from the lack of understanding between us Malaysians. Why is that so?? How do we gain that?? The government raves about how 'racial tolerance' is the key. Is it?

The free web dictionary defines tolerance as

1. The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others

hmmm... sounds great.
But what usually comes to mind and what i believe most Malaysians understand is..

2. capacity to endure something, esp pain or hardship.

The fact is that this encourages Malaysians to think that

'others' = something which is bad and needs to be endured

hence, we have peace that passeth understanding. For the sake of peace we'll just tolerate these 'people' right?

But no. It isn't the way. OneMalaysia is a beautiful concept. But as it is it will forever remain as that - a concept. Most people scoff at the idea. Yes it may just seem like some political propaganda and it may be exactly that. But it doesn't matter. It's still something worth fighting for. Why not try to make it reality.

I believe it is mostly a personal thing. You can only understand if you want to understand. And that is where we start. One thing i'd like to see though, is BN taking the initiative and be truly one. No more UMNO, MCA, MIC etc . Just one party. Chuck aside tolerance for understanding. For how can the nation be one if the ruling party has so many division-like sub parties. Otherwise OneMalaysia would seem so hypocritical.

I pray that God will help us understand. =)

what if?

Emotion can be a strong motivator. How else then can I produce 2 posts within a short time frame?? Whether good or bad , emotion is fuel for an out of sorts blogger in his feeble attempt to revive his blog. Definitely out of sorts
Amidst the storm raging in my mind, I'm reminded of a time when being carefree was an everyday thing. Waking up in the morning eager to start the next adventure. Adventure is out there!! (quoted from Up)
But over time, life deals you sucky cards and you just start to worry about everything. Friendships, school, life. But the funny thing is that these things didn't just appear as we got older. They have been there since our carefree days. Did we just wake up one day and thought... omg, what if??

what if my life isn't going anywhere??
what if i never get to see this person again?
what if tomorrow never comes?

But what if life never dealt those sucky cards?? would we just live like kids?? maybe along the way we just realised there are things close to our heart that we guard and keep. We realise and acknowledge life for what it is. In a way i'm glad. Carefree or not. Somehow i believe its better to feel than not to feel at all. Otherwise there would be no meaning.

Hurt but not defeated

Something is up. I said something is up. Blog followers as of 31st July, ten. Blog followers as of 20th December, thirteen. Number of posts between 31st July and 20th December??

0.

Weird?? I say something is up.
Its been a long lay off. (as usual)
But today, i feel the urge to write. At this unearthly hour, i will myself to write. Why you ask?? Because words allow me express unspoken feelings bottled up and stashed away from sight for long periods of time. Feelings otherwise potentially explosive and combustible.
You know the expression good guys finish last?? well i discovered that it may just have some credibility. Forgive me for thinking i'm a good guy... but hey, i try. Beats not trying at all right?
But sometimes it can be discouraging when people take advantage of your predisposition. You question why try? when people don't appreciate it but instead they play it like a joke.

One thing's for sure.. it hurts... good guy, bad guy... no difference we bleed the same... so why expose yourself to rejection when being a bad guy seems to get you farther? Sure you get mistreated as well.. but well you kinda expect it..
That's a thought that has significance... you expect it...
hmmmm.. thinking it over... why should the 'good guys' expect good treatment???

Well they shouldn't. Being good and expecting something in return would mean ulterior motive.
Where does that put the good guy then?? not so good after all.. so technically they should expect harsh treatment...
Well it doesn't matter anyhow... It's been a timely reminder of what motivates me to be who i want to be.

Because He first loved me.