Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Sing OUR anthem

Current Date: 30/8/2016
So... recently some friends have discovered my old blog. I was considering taking it down for fear of people re-reading my cringe-worthy posts. Scrolling through however, it reminded me of the me I was, and it helped me see the me I am now from a unique perspective. So I've decided to let it stay up.

Interestingly, I found an unpublished blog post from 3 years back. It seemed fitting with the season as well, so why not? Here goes my post from the past unedited.
There might have been a reason I didn't post it then (which I cant remember), So have mercy if the me from 3 years back is wiser than the me now.

Blog Post Begins:

"Malaysia, beautiful Malaysia"

I still remember the opening lines of my primary school's national choral speaking performance. Though that was from 12 years ago I honestly believe that those words still hold true.

The thing that got me writing this entry was because of the recent implementation of the singing of The Negaraku  in cinemas before movies for the week leading up to Malaya's Independence day. I am honestly surprised at all the comments and criticism it is getting and i can't understand it at all. I recently came across this article in malaysiakini:

And i must say it disturbed me.

The author pointed out how it was indeed a noble intention but was somewhat trying to force a response from its citizens to be proud of its country. He went on to point at all the sore points for Malaysian citizens and implied that its quite impossible to be proud of the country at this point in time because of the system.

But I'd beg to differ. Maybe its just how i was brought up or maybe I'm just a bit weird. But why not sing the anthem with pride? The core of singing The Negaraku is not pride, but rather love for the country. It has never depended on the state of my homeland because my homeland is and forever is my one and only home which i love. The emotion of pride does not stem from what my country has achieved. If it did, only few countries have a right to be proud. It gives more reason to be proud but pride comes from deeper things than that. Its common human experience. When you put your heart and soul into something, it doesn't quite matter what the outcome is as long as you've done what you could, you'd feel the pride of accomplishing something that is yours. It is about ownership.

Maybe we've not sung the National Anthem for so long waiting for 'pride' to kick in that we've forgotten the lyrics.

"Tanah tumpahnya darahku"

So come this 31st August or 16 September (It really doesn't matter, if you need a day to feel patriotic i doubt its true patriotism, both days are equally important), let's change our mindset. Why not focus on the beautiful and stop the negative rants on the net. Why not try to mend a relationship with someone of a different race or religion rather than sharing stories of silly politicians? Why not consider going into politics instead of sitting around waiting for 'right' candidates to vote for? Why not just sing the Negaraku because its your National Anthem and not criticize about why it won't work? Not liking some parts of your country doesn't change the fact that its yours.

I love Malaysia warts and all. That's why I'm going to stick around and do what I can. If you'd ask me to sing the National Anthem, I wouldn't care who asked me to or for what reason. Why not? It is my song. Now ask the question, is it yours?

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Man who moved the world

As facebook and tweeter feeds flood with messages of condolence and encouragement for one man, i am moved to write.

Lee Chong Wei.

I can only imagine what the Olympics gold meant for you. I can only imagine the unsaid burden of hopes of 28 million people. I can only imagine how heart wrenching it must be to be so close but yet so far. twice.

But even as the final shuttle struck the ground amidst euphoric screams, the silent cries of a man who gave his all was heard. It was deafening.

In the ensuing silence, the heart of a nation wept for the man who truly deserved the Olympic gold - The man who would go on to say

"I'm sorry."

In a way, i would ask what is there to be sorry about? He did everything humanly possible to do what he set out to do. Through pain, through injuries, through setbacks and even through criticism from a nation he single-handedly shouldered hopes for. After all this, he says sorry?

Truly there is nothing to be sorry about. But somehow there was something about that apology which reflected the man who won the hearts of not only the nation but even the world. Though not crowned the champion, this a man i would call a hero.

Acts Church puts it this way,
"Tonight something stirred the hearts of Malaysians. Champions are made in a second, Heroes lasts a lifetime."

I totally agree. 

I think something magical happened last night. The whole world was moved. Not just Malaysia but the neutrals and even the Chinese. I came across an fb status asking why God didn't bless the one who needed the blessing. A very valid question indeed. But if you'd open your eyes a bit bigger and see the aftermath of what happened, you'd realize He actually did. Lin Dan could never accomplish what Chong Wei did even with 3 more Olympics Golds under his belt. I don't know if this is applicable, but i remember Matthew 5:5 which says " Blessed are the humble for they will inherit the earth."

On a personal account, I'm reminded of the days when i used to watch then top malaysian Ong Ewe Hock play. Despite the fact that winning titles was not a norm, i think what inspired me most was the way he played and how he would go for every shuttle. Even if it meant ending up sprawling on the ground without a point. Nope definitely didn't win him titles. But I always remember picking up my racket not long after that.

Chong Wei has done the nation proud. Even if does not end with a gold medal or history being made. I'm pretty sure it has sparked many little boys and girls to pick up their racket. I for one am going to pick up mine.


Saturday, August 4, 2012

Self Motivation?

Hello peeps...
My blog is dead... again...
tried to redesign it to get some inspiration to start blogging again since its between semesters...

Oh well.. i got this post out...
But its kinda late... hopefully i'll blog again soon... I must always remind myself on the reason why i blog.


Sunday, April 29, 2012

My thoughts on being Clean

Its been a long time.

Again i find myself in the situation to write about something i feel strongly about. Let's take a guess shall we? Of course, BERSIH 3.0.

Everyone has their own convictions. While thousands of Malaysians flocked to various areas to 'duduk bantah' i find myself unable to do so. Let me tell you why. It's not that I'm not for clean and fair elections because everyone is. But somehow i feel BERSIH has very subtly overstepped the line from being just about clean and fair elections to becoming increasingly anti-government. I just simply cannot make myself join a demonstration feeling the cause has been compromised and very much merged with an anti-government movement simply because I do not stand for the latter.

People may say I'm reading too much into things. But somehow i feel very much convicted of this and am always reminded of Romans 13:1 in spite of all the blatant corruption. This does not mean however that we should tolerate any evil dished out but speak out against such injustice. The thing we have to be careful with is how we do it that in our conduct we are blameless. I feel that BERSIH has not really exercised this caution in their statements and actions. But again, that's just my opinion of things.

Things that have been boiling my nerves recently:
1. Mainstream media and alternative media being unbelievably biased. Mainstream media i totally expected. Sorely disappointed with Malaysiakini for posting 'news' based on people's opinions which has been made to sound like facts. title is just so so wrong. and fact-finding mission team? invited by Anwar? biased not?

2. Treatment and hate for Police. They are human beings with emotions and feelings. They deserve compassion and to be empathised with. Generalizing all police as brutal is wrong, discriminative and backward. Look at things through their eyes for once.

3. 'BERSIH supporters' who say they are for clean and fair elections but are really just after the adrenaline rush from the experience. I came across this fb status describing how BERSIH 3.0 was great and that he/she wants to invite everyone to BERSIH 4.0. But really, if you have this cause in your heart, you would hope that changes will happen and there would be NO need for a BERSIH 4.0. Where does your focus lie?

Hmmm.. I really don't know how to respond anymore but i can't shake off what i feel about this. Seems that there is a lot of pressure for people to support this.

"What??! You don't support BERSIH?? you don't want clean elections??!!"

Anyhow, let's just pray for Malaysia. God loves Malaysia and He is still in control. Pray that God will also keep the intentions of BERSIH pure and at the same time continuously check our own stand and intentions.

Until next time....

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What now?

If i had the power to change the world... oh imagine the wrongs i would make right... busy
If i could 'fix' the wrongs in people and have them see what i see... i'd probably change everyone..

But it ain't my right... and gosh would it be a boring world to live in if everyone thinks like me...

I think I've learned to accept that.. but sometimes it feels helpless... staring from afar.. what then can i do? a question i need to find an answer to...

Monday, July 11, 2011


Ladies and gentlemen.. this post is not to express my views on the recent rally in KL.. I have already over-indulged myself on fb and i am going to stop...

I think i was perfectly fine with everyone having their own opinions about the thing... then fb gets flooded with very shallow comments by people who have no idea what they are talking about... that infuriates me a lot... what is worse is when you know who these people are and all you think is.. huh?? this guy??

people who had ZERO interest in your own campus elections are suddenly super interested in general elections... i'm not even going to mention their knowledge level about our current system... let alone how they can be experts and claim that these are the measures needed for clean elections... I really have no comment for those who don't even know some of the claims made by bersih but yet have bersih pic badges in their profile...

People expect the best from the government... i expect bearable mistakes.. but yet the government fails on both accounts... But let me pose a question ... what do we expect from ourselves?? should we not expect any less?? if we demand the government to clean up should we not have cleaned up ourselves first? what major hypocrites we would be...

One of the most common things you see on fb statuses is pointing out how the government has wasted billions of taxpayers money on ridiculous stuff and expanding their own pockets... how true... but i've also seen jpa scholars and PTPTN loan takers waste these very same resources on 300 dollar watches, iphones and lcd televisions.. I'm not kidding...  i wish i were about the television... well, we're not very different are we...

One may say.. nope.. i don't do that... or my parents pay my expenses... but let me take it one step further... for those studying in public universities... do you not know that your fees have been subsidized substantially by taxpayer's money? you could almost call it a scholarship...  let me give you figures.. i'm paying roughly RM5000 for my 4 years here in UM for a RM60000 course my international student friends have to pay.... Now ask yourself this... ever skipped a class? ever slept in a class? we all can be honest with ourselves.. especially those uni courses like Hubungan Etnik and TITAS... now again imagine what you were doing instead of being in that class... sleeping in your room? shopping in mid-valley?? now don't tell me its not the same as what the government is doing because that is double-standard...

What i'm trying to get at is that we should all take a deep look at ourselves and think.. are we hypocrites? let's face it.. we don't expect the government to change.. if it were to change, we expect new people to rise up... but things aren't going to change for the better if the new people we so hope for comes from a pool of people with this attitude...

Whatever the implications of this rally.. let's clean ourselves up first alright? bersih 2.5 in operation...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

purging the emo in me...

Ladies and gentlemen... I officially announce to you... that I am a firm believer in Murphy's law...
Anything that can go wrong WILL and MOST SURELY go wrong....

In fact some things which you never thought could go wrong will also go wrong... It is after all a flawed world we live in. The motivation behind this blog post is just to get all this pent up frustration and disappointment out of my system... my facebook has been clogged up with emo-fied messages and i don't think its good...

I just don't understand it... I've slogged for 2 semesters.. so tired at times i just wanted to break down.. at times the only things keeping me going were the god-sent friends who supported me.. and just looking forward to a long deserved break from the craziness in UM...

And now even that is going to be taken from me?? What?? 4 months holiday now reduced to approximately a month spread out intermittently?? Little by little my holidays were sliced away.. 2 weeks, 1 week, another week.. but now 1 month!!
At first i was just angry... telling myself i'm not going through with it... but then i realise.. i can't run away at all... i'm trapped... there is no choice.. well congratulations.. you have broken my willpower... you have managed to beat me down to submission despite my defiance... you happy now??

People advise me to look at it positively.. be open minded about it.. and its true.. i should.. and i usually am... but i'm just so tired of it... i've been open minded for the past 2 semesters... telling myself its a learning experience... its good training... it will help me later on in life... just a while longer....
But its been that way for ages... but you know what? there is no little while longer is there? there is no guarantee that it will end here.. in fact it was supposed to end ages ago..

So what now? I really don't know..

I guess God has a plan... and that whatever happens.. no matter how it knocks my spirit down... when i look back i will see a different picture.... Now i see it may take many years for that to happen... For now i just don't want to be defeated...