Tuesday, December 22, 2009

what if?

Emotion can be a strong motivator. How else then can I produce 2 posts within a short time frame?? Whether good or bad , emotion is fuel for an out of sorts blogger in his feeble attempt to revive his blog. Definitely out of sorts
Amidst the storm raging in my mind, I'm reminded of a time when being carefree was an everyday thing. Waking up in the morning eager to start the next adventure. Adventure is out there!! (quoted from Up)
But over time, life deals you sucky cards and you just start to worry about everything. Friendships, school, life. But the funny thing is that these things didn't just appear as we got older. They have been there since our carefree days. Did we just wake up one day and thought... omg, what if??

what if my life isn't going anywhere??
what if i never get to see this person again?
what if tomorrow never comes?

But what if life never dealt those sucky cards?? would we just live like kids?? maybe along the way we just realised there are things close to our heart that we guard and keep. We realise and acknowledge life for what it is. In a way i'm glad. Carefree or not. Somehow i believe its better to feel than not to feel at all. Otherwise there would be no meaning.

Hurt but not defeated

Something is up. I said something is up. Blog followers as of 31st July, ten. Blog followers as of 20th December, thirteen. Number of posts between 31st July and 20th December??


Weird?? I say something is up.
Its been a long lay off. (as usual)
But today, i feel the urge to write. At this unearthly hour, i will myself to write. Why you ask?? Because words allow me express unspoken feelings bottled up and stashed away from sight for long periods of time. Feelings otherwise potentially explosive and combustible.
You know the expression good guys finish last?? well i discovered that it may just have some credibility. Forgive me for thinking i'm a good guy... but hey, i try. Beats not trying at all right?
But sometimes it can be discouraging when people take advantage of your predisposition. You question why try? when people don't appreciate it but instead they play it like a joke.

One thing's for sure.. it hurts... good guy, bad guy... no difference we bleed the same... so why expose yourself to rejection when being a bad guy seems to get you farther? Sure you get mistreated as well.. but well you kinda expect it..
That's a thought that has significance... you expect it...
hmmmm.. thinking it over... why should the 'good guys' expect good treatment???

Well they shouldn't. Being good and expecting something in return would mean ulterior motive.
Where does that put the good guy then?? not so good after all.. so technically they should expect harsh treatment...
Well it doesn't matter anyhow... It's been a timely reminder of what motivates me to be who i want to be.

Because He first loved me.