Wednesday, June 29, 2011

purging the emo in me...

Ladies and gentlemen... I officially announce to you... that I am a firm believer in Murphy's law...
Anything that can go wrong WILL and MOST SURELY go wrong....

In fact some things which you never thought could go wrong will also go wrong... It is after all a flawed world we live in. The motivation behind this blog post is just to get all this pent up frustration and disappointment out of my system... my facebook has been clogged up with emo-fied messages and i don't think its good...

I just don't understand it... I've slogged for 2 semesters.. so tired at times i just wanted to break down.. at times the only things keeping me going were the god-sent friends who supported me.. and just looking forward to a long deserved break from the craziness in UM...

And now even that is going to be taken from me?? What?? 4 months holiday now reduced to approximately a month spread out intermittently?? Little by little my holidays were sliced away.. 2 weeks, 1 week, another week.. but now 1 month!!
At first i was just angry... telling myself i'm not going through with it... but then i realise.. i can't run away at all... i'm trapped... there is no choice.. well congratulations.. you have broken my willpower... you have managed to beat me down to submission despite my defiance... you happy now??

People advise me to look at it positively.. be open minded about it.. and its true.. i should.. and i usually am... but i'm just so tired of it... i've been open minded for the past 2 semesters... telling myself its a learning experience... its good training... it will help me later on in life... just a while longer....
But its been that way for ages... but you know what? there is no little while longer is there? there is no guarantee that it will end here.. in fact it was supposed to end ages ago..

So what now? I really don't know..


I guess God has a plan... and that whatever happens.. no matter how it knocks my spirit down... when i look back i will see a different picture.... Now i see it may take many years for that to happen... For now i just don't want to be defeated...

1 comment:

Murugesh Rao said...

Hey Tim. So no long holidays anymore ah? I hear your frustration. No matter what, I know you will stay strong and remain positive. Just get a lot of rest while you can. Just don't go back to UM with resentment.
Take care wo. We shall meet when you are super free.