purging the emo in me...

Ladies and gentlemen... I officially announce to you... that I am a firm believer in Murphy's law...
Anything that can go wrong WILL and MOST SURELY go wrong....

In fact some things which you never thought could go wrong will also go wrong... It is after all a flawed world we live in. The motivation behind this blog post is just to get all this pent up frustration and disappointment out of my system... my facebook has been clogged up with emo-fied messages and i don't think its good...

I just don't understand it... I've slogged for 2 semesters.. so tired at times i just wanted to break down.. at times the only things keeping me going were the god-sent friends who supported me.. and just looking forward to a long deserved break from the craziness in UM...

And now even that is going to be taken from me?? What?? 4 months holiday now reduced to approximately a month spread out intermittently?? Little by little my holidays were sliced away.. 2 weeks, 1 week, another week.. but now 1 month!!
At first i was just angry... telling myself i'm not going through with it... but then i realise.. i can't run away at all... i'm trapped... there is no choice.. well congratulations.. you have broken my willpower... you have managed to beat me down to submission despite my defiance... you happy now??

People advise me to look at it positively.. be open minded about it.. and its true.. i should.. and i usually am... but i'm just so tired of it... i've been open minded for the past 2 semesters... telling myself its a learning experience... its good training... it will help me later on in life... just a while longer....
But its been that way for ages... but you know what? there is no little while longer is there? there is no guarantee that it will end here.. in fact it was supposed to end ages ago..

So what now? I really don't know..


I guess God has a plan... and that whatever happens.. no matter how it knocks my spirit down... when i look back i will see a different picture.... Now i see it may take many years for that to happen... For now i just don't want to be defeated...

I am a Jonah

Hmmm.. was reading me bible the other day and i thought it would be fun to read the famous sunday school story of Jonah again....
The story seemed funnier than i last remembered it. haha..
Just for the sake of it.. This is how the story goes...
A long long time ago... cheh.. so dramatic..

there was this guy la.. his name was Jonah..
see he was this prophet who lived sometime in the old testament.. ( a prophet is someone who is God's messenger) Now Jonah was living his own mundane life in the city when one day God tells him to get up and go to the city of Nineveh (henceforth known as 9veh XD) to deliver a message of doom!

Wait! Wha??! Message of Doom?? In the bible? yup that's right.. message of doom. See 9veh was this great big city.. and like most great big cities.. they are greatly and BIGLY (is that a word? ) corrupted... in other words.. schmeevil.... yes.. evil....
What God wanted Jonah to do.. was for him to waltz up to the hostile citizens of this great big schmeevil city.. alone... and tell them that God was going to destroy them if they did not turn from their schmeevil ways... keywords... evil,alone... definitely not winning the most desirable task award i would say..

So what does Jonah do?? He's hilarious... he runs in the direct OPPOSITE direction... no kidding... haha.. firstly.. literally the opposite direction haha... secondly, trying to run away from God .. like hello? not possible o.O

so he goes on this boat from Joppa heading towards Tarshish... when God sends a storm in their way.. Now the boat was caught in this ferocious storm and all the sailors were like frantically throwing their cargo to make the ship lighter ... what was our dear hero doing?? sleeping =.=" well.. the captain woke him up later of course...

now the crew kinda sensed the divine nature of the storm and believed it was because somebody had done something to anger God... so they threw lots and obviously Jonah was pointed out... hence ensued some sort of interrogation... and Jonah admitted everything... so the captain asked him...

"What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?"
 "Pick me up and throw me into the sea," jawab Si Jonah
"“and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you."

But the Crew... so kind hearted... kinda ignored him and continued their efforts to survive.. trying to row back to shore... imagine that... if it were me ar... you asked for it isn't it?? wish granted...
*fiiiuuuuu booomm*splash* Sayonara....
But in the end.. the crew decided.. there is no other way la.. so they reluctantly threw him off into the sea.. all the while praying for forgiveness... such nice people... ironically Jonah is the prophet...
and sure enough.. the storm stops...

Now here comes the interesting part... God sends a Great Fish  to swallow Jonah up...(No, it isn't a whale like the kiddy book pictures suggest...) and he stays in the belly of the beast for 3 days and 3 nights... @.@ Wha??!! yup thats right... God saves Jonah by the most outrageous of methods... not only that... he gets vomitted out on dry land too!! Hard to believe? I'll get to that later...

Anyhu.. Jonah gets the picture... he can't run.. he probably can't hide either... so he gets to doing the task assigned... Goes up to the great big 9veh and delivers the unwanted news... To my surprise!!! wahh whole city... 1200000 citizens repent and turn from their ways!! Lesson 1 ..Never underestimate the power of God... Lesson 2.. who am I to judge people so quickly... o.O

Now, you'd think Si Jonah would be happy and continue his life right?? wrong... he merajuk O.o
Why??? coz his prediction of doom didn't happen... not too good on the reputation.. and he  felt this 9veh ppl deserved to be punished. Instead God was going to let them go.

Wahh... I would have sent lightning down on this Jonah to kill him... but no.. God dealt with him gently... showing him through a plant which shaded him and died.. which is another story.. and i digress coz its getting too long...

As i was saying earlier... This story is from the bible... and i believe it to be absolutely true... Many may argue... how is it possible that this si Jonah can survive in this Fish's belly? Some believe that the fish part was purely metaphorical... representing something else... Either way, what convinces me of this story is Jonah himself.... his reactions.. so silly... so rebellious... so arrogant... so selfish... so brat-ish but ever so human... SO REAL...
Isn't this how all of us react to things? that would have been exactly what i would do... no matter how funny and ridiculous i find it... I AM JONAH.. oh gosh i can't stand myself..

But the greatest part of it all... how God was so patient with Jonah... led him back through and astounding U-turn.. not letting him get harmed throughout... and then at the end of it all... Jonah was merajuk-ing??
But God still dealt with him gently... all i can say is WOW... i want that so much... do you want that too??

***interesting fact***Jonah means dove***It is possible to live in the belly of a whale***

disinterested

I thought time at home would cure me.. well it isn't working... i realised i've just been disinterested in everything... just not really me... crazy moody on the inside... guess i should change up the pace a little...

see.. lost interest in blogging already.. oh well...