Have you ever felt a sudden sense of panic? Out of the blue.. when you think you're at the height of a point in your life.
I guess people would never have guessed... apparently i look calm and collected all the time.. someone who is in control and looks like he knows what he's doing...
But at that moment in time.. in the middle of blurry faces i just felt lost... suddenly i just felt how insignificant my life has been... and probably will be... doing things i dislike but do well... pleasing people around but end up exhausted and drained... too tired to even enjoy good company...
I know i've grown a lot. And its great to see how far i've come. But.. essentially i'm still the same person.. still insecure, still introverted.. someone who enjoys doing background work... living a simple but satisfying life.. away from the fast lane...
Maybe i just wanted to prove something... to who I'm beginning to wonder..
At the beginning i could still see the meaning in things.. but i seem to have lost sight of that... I just want to go back to the beginning... where the meaning is clear...
things have been confusing to say the least.. i don't know how to deal with it.. just have to wait on God's timing... i really hope i don't panic and act rashly... its been staring in my face 24/7
On another note.... people have pointed out and partly i've noticed... I'm a people pleaser.. and a workaholic.... i probably will die young...
